Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth

Author:Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Published: 2001-03-17T05:00:00+00:00

31. “There’s no hope for my marriage.”

Over the years, I’ve walked with many women through some terribly difficult seasons in their marriage. The details and the contributing factors vary, but the pain has felt unbearable at times for each of these women. Many have come to a place where it seemed there was no hope for reconciliation or restoration.

You (or someone you love) may be at that point today.

When Robert and I were dating, it seemed that people were forever giving us a knowing look and saying (as if warning or consoling us or both), “Marriage is hard!” This really bothered me. On more than one occasion, I said to Robert, “Why all this counsel of despair? Why aren’t people telling us how wonderful a godly marriage is?”

As this book is being released, we’ve been married for two and a half years. God could not have chosen a more perfect man for me, and no man could treat his wife more tenderly and thoughtfully than Robert treats me. But I now find myself telling couples considering marriage, “Marriage (between two people who love Christ and each other) is wonderful. And … marriage is a lot of work.” Hard work. If both spouses don’t work hard at it, the marriage may well become just plain hard.

Every married couple is “incompatible”—if for no other reason than that men and women are vastly different, not to mention that every marriage involves two people who are naturally inclined to look out for themselves. Any two people living under the same roof are going to be insensitive at times. They are going to hurt each other. There is going to be miscommunication and misunderstanding. They are going to fail to meet each other’s needs. The only place where people get married and “live happily ever after” is in fairy tales. Never, since Genesis 3, has there been such a thing as an easy or pain-free marriage.

The Enemy knows this, of course, and actively seeks to exploit it. No sooner does a couple say “I do” than the Serpent rears its ugly head. Before the rice has been cleaned up from the send-off, the Enemy is looking for opportunities to plant seeds of division in the hearts of the newlyweds. He knows that every time he succeeds in tearing apart a Christian marriage, this earthly picture of divine redemption is tarnished, and the world is given a distorted view of the character of God. No marriage is immune to this attempt to sabotage a good and holy gift. Not yours. Not mine.

And how does the Enemy do his evil, divisive work? You know the answer by now. He lies! Deception is one of his most effective tools. But this deception doesn’t usually start with full-blown falsehoods. Most of those would be quickly rejected. It starts subtly, with partial truths mixed with partial deception, with thoughts that seem to be true and emotions that feel true.

It can start with a simple offense or misunderstanding. Say your brand-new

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